The Tenderness of God

July 28, 2023

A little exploration of God's tenderness in different parts of Scripture.

In one prayer time recently, I felt the nudge to revisit some passages that speak of God’s tenderness – a virtue so at odds with the world. Virtues like this often get a bad rap as though if we take them on we’ll inevitably leave ourselves open to abuse or bullying or becoming the proverbial doormat.

But in terms of God’s self, when we come to Him in our brokenness, facing the sins we’re struggling to shake or the wounded parts of ourselves that seem resistant to the gospel, it is precisely this virtue (and others like it: gentleness, meekness etc) that invite us to break out of our mistrust and believe that God is truly worthy to be believed. That perhaps even the most shame-filled, hidden areas within us might find freedom and hope in the light of this tender-hearted God. That maybe we can move out of our fears into the fulness of faith.

This is by no means an exhaustive or academic study on God’s tenderness that I offer, just a few reflections and observations on a cursory look around the Bible to see verses that might encourage when our hearts are discouraged.

A bruised reed He will not break

God’s tenderness means in our vulnerability we are safe. There are a number of passages where we can draw comfort on this, but I’ve always found Matthew 12 compelling. In the midst of several stories of Jesus providing, healing and delivering people in need, we get these verses quoted from Isaiah 42:1-4:

“Here is my servant, whom I have chosen,
my beloved, with whom my soul is well pleased.
I will put my Spirit upon him,
and he will proclaim justice to the gentiles.

He will not wrangle or cry aloud,
nor will anyone hear his voice in the streets.
He will not break a bruised reed
or quench a smoldering wick
until he brings justice to victory.
And in his name the gentiles will hope.”

He will not break a bruised reed. He will not step into the state of our souls with size 9s that give no heed to where we are bruised or hurting. Our God is not a god of rough religion. He cares about what is right, what is just. He needs not yell or scream to be heard. Indeed this verse is quoted right when Jesus advises the crowds not to share widely what they’ve seen. The work of the Spirit will blow where it will and things grow when the time is right. Jesus did not need to force the work God had entrusted to Him. He was in step and led by the Spirit. Not by the strength of humankind...

He embraces children – and we are to be like them!

In Matthew 19:13-15 the disciples try and keep the children away from Jesus, yet he invites them in. “Let the children come to me, and do not stop them, for it is to such as these that the kingdom of heaven belongs” says Jesus. (And yet how often have I heard or seen people act differently than this and complain about children being in church!) He invites them to come to him and he embraces them. His tenderness means He is a safe and welcoming embrace for least among us.

Yet Jesus goes further than that. Because the backstory is found in Matthew 18:1-5, where He made it clear: to enter the kingdom of God, you and I need to become like children (and to welcome children in turn). The disciples wanted to know how to be the greatest, the holiest, the most righteous. Jesus says: be the most vulnerable, dependent, and insignificant.

But then in v.6-7 Jesus offers this stern warning:

“If any of you cause one of these little ones who believe in me to stumble, it would be better for you if a great millstone were fastened around your neck and you were drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world because of things that cause sin! Such things are bound to come, but woe to the one through whom they come!”

This is much like God’s words in Leviticus 19:14: “You shall not revile the deaf or put a stumbling block before the blind; you shall fear your God: I am the Lord.” This verse comes in the middle of a description of how the holy people of God are to act with impartiality and integrity for one’s neighbour as well as extra consideration and care for those in poverty or the immigrant, being mindful of their needs.

God in His tenderness cares for the vulnerabilities of His people, those seen and unseen needs. To come into His kingdom, we do so in our vulnerability and needy state, like a child. But woe to the one who claims to this tender name of Christ yet causes such a person to stumble and sin. That is anathema to God’s love.

“Neither do I condemn you”

John 8 tells the famous story of Jesus and the woman caught “in the very act” of adultery and dragged out before Jesus. Jesus’ words cause all her accusers to depart. And then neither does Jesus condemn (though he makes it clear it’s time for a change). Romans 8:1 also clearly reminds us: “Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

But when it comes to God’s tenderness in relation to forgiveness and freedom, this verse summed it up for me:

“With my mouth I will give great thanks to the Lord;
I will praise him in the midst of the throng.

For he stands at the right hand of the needy,
to save them from those who would condemn them to death.”

(Psalm 109:31)

Perhaps it’s accusers that stand before us like the Jewish leaders stood before the woman in John 8. Perhaps it’s the accuser within that says we are stupid or foolish or shameful or a mistake or unworthy or hateful.

To draw from the Apocrypha for a moment, Wisdom 12:15 says this of God:

"You are righteous, and you rule all things righteously,
deeming it alien to your power
to condemn anyone who does not deserve to be punished."

Yet how much more we have through the One who took our punishment! Those who don’t deserve it aren’t condemned. And through Christ even those who do deserve it aren’t condemned.

To wrap up

1 John 3 is well worth a read on this topic. As we seek to grow and go forward in this tender love of God, we learn God can be trusted. Where our hearts aren’t quite there yet and still condemn us – we learn that God is greater than such accusations (v.20). And where our hearts have fully learned to trust God’s tender heart and know we are not condemned, then we discover a confidence we never knew was possible.

The miracle of knowing God’s tenderness is that as we come to experience and know it for ourselves, what happens is not that we become weak and liable to abuse. No! What happens is we become exactly who He made us to be—people who can truly share His love with others. He turns our hearts of stone into hearts of flesh. Hearts that can love just as He loves us.

***

Photo credits:

Bird & Reeds by . philographism on Unsplash

Three girls by Muhammad-taha Ibrahim on Unsplash

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